I never said I miss you
by Issali
Summary: Jean and Sasha broke up and now Jean has to deal with the hurt in his heart.
1. Chapter 1

Jean stirs in his sleep. He rolls on his right side. "Good Morning Sa-…" he mumbles.  
Just as he wants to draw the person next to him closer, he realizes that there is no one. His eyes flutter open. "-sha".

The other side of the bed cold and empty, the sheets neatly folded.

"Damn," Jean says as he sits up. He hadn't thought about her since she moved out a week ago. Actually it doesn't even bother him anymore.

Or at least he tries to convince himself about that.

When he gets in the kitchen he half expects her to stand there making breakfast for them both only wearing one of his shirts, grinning at him. But his small grey kitchen remains grey, not lit up by her shining presence, her sparkling eyes or her radiant smile. Well, he can make breakfast for himself. He's grown up. He can toast his toast, he can smear butter on it. He can't make pancakes, but who the hell wants pancakes for breakfast anyway. Especially HER fluffy pancakes with blueberries in it. He does clearly not.  
Jean is okay with the breakup, though. Now he doesn't have to watch all her… What was she playing again? Anyway, it was boring. And reading the sports section in his local newspaper is just out of habit. Certainly not to see if her volleyball team won. Absolutely not!

Marco told him he heard Sasha say that Jean will never manage living without her.

"Ridiculous!" Jean spits, as he fumbles around his badly burned toast, "I can manage my life well with or without her."

While he chews slowly his gaze wanders around the flat. There's dust on the shelves. His unwashed clothes lie scattered on the floor. A week ago the apartment wasn't spotless, but still neat and tidy.

"The genius reigns over the chaos. I'm feeling comfortable. VERY comfortable. After all that's MY apartment. I don't need the hand of a women in here," He thinks while he uneasily shifts on his chair, but his mind doesn't stop there.  
It didn't stop there the whole last week. The thoughts travel further. Did she regret breaking up? Did she struggle over it? Did she realize that he didn't mean to…

Jeans thoughts are abruptly interrupted when he hears the lock of his front door clicking.  
The brown haired boy shuffles out of the kitchen to see who could possibly disturb him on a Sunday morning. His eyes widen: A brown haired, hazel eyed girls stands in front of him. She wears an oversized green hoodie as a dress. He remembers that he bought it for her.

"Sasha! What are you doing here? Why-"

Sasha cuts him short, "Sorry for coming. I just wanted to give this to you." She hands him a washed, ironed and folded shirt. "I don't know why I still had it. I figured I should give it back to you."

Jean takes the shirt from her trying not to touch her hands. He knows exactly why she had it. This t-shirt was his favourite as well as hers, so he let Sasha wear it all the time. What a good boyfriend he was.

The whole time she averts her eyes.

"How did you get here? By bus? If you said something I would have-"

Sasha interrupts him again, "I didn't want to trouble you. Connie offered me to drive me here. He waits in the car."

Jean couldn't stop the angry feeling building up in his chest. "Ah, I see… Connie," He says bitterly as he crosses his arms.

The brown haired girl flashes her eyes angrily at him It was the first time she really looked at him standing there only in pyjama trousers and hair that hadn't been washed in three days. "Yes, Connie. Don't bring this topic again, Jean. We spoke about it again and again and again and again. He is a friend of mine. Nothing more, nothing less. Okay?"

Now it is Jean's turn to avert his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. A friend. I know."

A moment of silence rises between them. Sasha's quiet whisper breaks through it. "I must go now, Jean, I have a game. Goodbye." Her voice is soft, fragile now. It seems like she struggles to keep her emotions together.

"Bye," Jean says, but the door already clicks shut.

Trance-like the boy stumbles into the living room. He slumps on the sofa. Just as he raises the shirt Sasha bought to his nose something tiny falls loudly clattering to the ground. His mind can't grasp what lies in front of him so he has to look twice. A silver key. Sasha hid it in his shirt. She gave him the keys to their… his apartment back. She will never enter again like she did so many times.  
He finally sniffs the fabric. It smells not like her. The scent he breathed in so many nights was gone. It is replaced with the smell of a cheap washing powder.  
The shirt glides out of his grip.  
Jean buries his face in his hands.

A sob escapes his lips.  
"I miss you Sasha"


	2. Chapter 2

Jean sat in his empty flat, two empty bottles lying on the floor, chaotic thoughts running through his head. His empty heart ached. The boy's brown eyes wandered to the newspaper next to him. The sports section was opened. His gaze fell on the article he read a few minutes ago. It was about a volleyball match. The winning team beamed up to him from a large picture above the article. A particular girl with hazel eyes and ponytail drew his gaze. She clutched the arm of a serious looking, black haired girl next to her and stuck her tongue out. Yes, that was Sasha.  
Jean closed his eyes and pushed the newspaper angrily away. He didn't want the memories to take over his thoughts. A sip from the bottle of beer should solve the problem. He took another sip. Another sip. They couldn't stop the pictures in his head, so he leaned back and let the memories take over.

* * *

The first time he saw her was at a volleyball game. A very important game. Something about moving up to a higher league. He didn't pay attention when Eren told them about it.  
Now here they were: Eren and Armin cheering for Mikasa, the team leader and good friend of them and Jean looking anywhere but at the game going on in front of him.

"God Jeager, why did you drag us here? It's boring as hell. And I wanted to play that new game I bought" Jean muttered.

The dark haired boy tore his eyes away from the match, "Well you could try with actually paying attention to the game, dumbass. It's over soon anyway."

Jean just grumbled something unintelligible, but then kept his mouth shut for the rest of the game.

Fifteen minutes later the game was over, Mikasa's team won and Eren and Armin were shouting congratulations. The dark haired girl headed over to them but stumbled midway, followed by a loud "WHOOOOOP". A girl, who had her brown hair in a ponytail, almost jumped on Mikasa's back trying to hug her from behind. Mikasa gestured to the three boys waiting for her. The brown haired girl flashed them a smile, gave a thumbs up and headed back to the changing room.

Jean stared after her. "Eren," he whispered, but the dark haired boy didn't react. "Hey Jaeger," Jean nudged him now, "Who was that girl?"

Eren gave him a puzzled look and said, "That? That was Sasha. As you might have recognized she's on the same team as Mikasa."

Since then it was Jean who dragged his friends with him to all matches. After the tenth game Jean mustered up all his courage to talk to her. Well, actually he did it because Eren constantly teased how he wasn't brave enough to talk to her.

"What? You don't think I'll do that? We'll see that when I go to her after the game and show her how suave I am"

"Jean please, stop using the word suave," was Eren's only answer.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

After the game the team stood together and talked about the game Jean supposed. As he came closer some of the girls giggled and nudged Sasha to turn her attention to him. She blushed slightly, but her grin widened a little bit. Funnily enough all of her teammates hurried to the changing room so the two of them were the only ones left in the gym.

"Hey… umm… you played very good today," Jean stated nervously scratching his neck.

Sasha let her eyes wander about his face. "Thanks Jean."

The boy looked confused. "You know me?"

"Sure, Mikasa told me." She shrugged and added cheekily "After all you seem to be a very big fan of us"

Jeans tongue was quicker than his brain so he admitted, "Well your all very good at volleyball-ing." After some seconds of silence he mumbled, "Especially you"

Ugh? Why was he so stupid? Volleyballing? Seriously? Why couldn't he simply say playing volleyball? Usually he had every situation under control. Especially with girls. But this time? His tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of his mouth. As soon as he opened his mouth there was fog clouding his brain, packing it on cotton.

Sasha watched him amused for some time. Then she interrupted his thoughts. "Was this all? Because I would go changing then?" She already took a few steps back.

"N-No wait! I wanted.. I just wanted.. uhhh.." Jean stuttered, before the girl cut him short with a loud laugh. "God! You're really the loser Mikasa told me you are."

Jean wanted to protest, but Sasha continued, now smiling almost sweetly "My team may or may not meet in the bar Rose to celebrate the win. It's 'Titan Tuesday' when they serve titanic cocktails. Maybe if you and your friends go there you'll meet us?" With those words she headed towards the changing room.

Jean was left dumbfounded for a moment, then his mind started working again. "Okay, we'll meet there"

Sasha paused before she opened the door "When you're late you have to pay" the girl said teasingly.  
After the door closed behind her Jean could hear a collective high-pitched cheer of girls inside.

* * *

Meanwhile the sun had sunk and Jean's flat was dark. Only the light of a streetlamp came through the window. He shook his head forcefully to banish all the thoughts creeping into his head. He looked at the rest of beer in the bottle and with one gulp he emptied it.

* * *

 **A/N: So this was it! There's nothing more to this story (if you can even call it that), which I'd never thought I'd write anyway. I hope you still enjoyed it in spite of being so short and not having a real ending**.


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